z2smith

z2Smith
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2011-06-21 21:09:55 (UTC)

Pre weekend away


My wife and I booked to stay in a splendid Hotel and Spa last weekend just to spend time together.

These were my thoughts before we went away……

Today is better than yesterday....if I look at things in its absolute now is really good and I must say she is really trying and I can feel the commitment. I just have certain thoughts that need to stop.....

like....

(1) why did she get down at pinner (a stop before)) to jump into his car (after midnight)...although all the times shows he just dropped her off....bringing something from him from work....eh....I don't believe cos of the history of lying and why didn't he pick up at your stop?
(2) As soon as you got home you sent txt saying you are at home but did not meet ur friend so may meet her tmr. You never meet ex-colleagues on a sat...never....especially when you have a race the next day (Sunday)....
(3) Even after the bb and email episode you continued to make out of hours contact even though you lied about the person and then lied about the contact...what is so important about the relationship to risk so much
(4) The feeling of her lying to me and giving him access to communicate with her and possibly other things makes my stomach turn every time I think of that. I feel intruded and violated....can't help it.
(5) I feel belittled by him....secures his wife at home and then sniffs around mine (successfully we must add).
(6) I really don't know what I have here.....a wife that is committed to me or someone that I only know the tip of an iceberg!
(7) Whatever it was....why can't it continue at a later date if not now......
(8) Some days I feel like going out to meet someone else and feel free, but that will make me a hypocrite moreover most times I just want her and nobody else...make me a whimp....huh?


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