Eel

An Emotional Dump

So, during the course of the year, which was amazing and although heartbreaking, there's so many things I need to explain.

First off...I kept checking my eyes to see if they changed shade/color. They have. They have significantly darkened over the time being just being with people who WOULD change me for worse but have failed. Sin does many things, especially to a homosexual, a bisexual...etc. But you have absolutely no idea.

No hay rosas sin espinas...right?

I' not sure how long I can continue living my burden. It's hard for me but I'm slowly slipping away for absolutely no reason.

Louis...I destroyed that brothership I had with him, I ruined it. It is my fault he acts the way he is. After all...I brought up Adam.

Juan Q...not sure if we just stopped talking or this was the end. And still got some wild fantasies for Edgar. And well...

There's this new guy named Chris. I don't know why but I've totally fallen in love with him. I can't stop thinking about him hugging me close and him kissing me...again, faggy thoughts. But he's...really cute. I guess.

Makes my heart go, boombuhdoomboom, boombuhdoomboom, bass.
Heartbeat running away.

I cry inside on the pain of no one being gay, like me. I know it'll come out sooner or later, and I know what to expect,no acceptance, no respect, the usual. not like I had some anyways but you know, whatever floats my boat. I do miss seeing him though, only if it was for one day. Mercy better let me see him, I guess.

You never know, but everyone's straight.
Straight up hating me.

Forever.