A lot has happened
A lot has happened since my last entry. On Friday 20 May I got a mail from my wife saying she will be late in as she was having drinks with colleagues and then meeting up with an old colleague. As I was travelling to Barcelona that day for 3 days I felt a bit uneasy about the whole thing. I decided to get her watched. It cost me a fortune! When I arrived at Barcelona about 8pm I spoke to her and she was still at work but by 10 pm she was no longer at work and the stupid people did not see her go out of her building although there a re about 3 main exit from the building but they had enough people. They checked all the bars but still did not find her so I got one of them to head to where she parked the car next to our local station. They did see a Benz drop her off so I assumed she took a taxi from work as they usually used Benz as car hire at her work place. I was at a night club in Barcelona at the time so when I tried speaking to her I couldn’t hear so we communicated by text. She told me she took the last train home, I was aghast as I knew she was dropped. I then asked my people to confirm the make and reg of the car and it was a CLK 280, that cannot be a taxi! At that moment I knew it was her boss that dropped her. I then told her by text that I am still uncomfortable about the whole KA saga (this was the blackberry message I discovered from a KS back in January). She went on about how I was obsessed with her boss and that he was not even at work today and my obsession was going to destroy our relationship. At that time I just knew I was going to get a divorce. I assumed at that time that he drove to work and they both left from the underground parking sometime before 10pm only for him to drop her off at about 12:30 am. I was devastated. I did not call or speak to her again throughout my remaining stay in Spain. She was running for charity on the Sunday (22nd of May) but she did not hear from me so she new something was up and sent me a few text which I ignored. Barcelona was actually very nice as I went with a friend of mine and we did have a very good time but unfortunately I was only there in body, I was like a zombie and was just thinking and thinking….and also crying. I didn’t want to spoil the fun for my friend so I tried my hardest to be a good companion and I did open up on everything to him
When I got back home on Monday 23rd May I moved to the children’s room. When my wife got home from work she came to meet me and I told her I was going to petition her for divorce. She told me she did take the last train home but stopped at a station before her stop (which is her bosses station) as she brought some papers for him and he came to pick up and dropped her at her car. We both went to the station and checked her travel history which was consistent with what she said but I was still uneasy about the whole thing. Why didn’t he pick up the papers from you at your stop….after all we have been through with the saga she enters his car at that time of the night…..I also accused her that the day she left the house to buy spices she saw him…I was just uneasy about how she left the house that day…she admitted she bumped into him….which I found ridiculous. I was just so sick about the lies and more lies. The next day I saw my solicitors and the first thing we did was send her a letter. I was shattered and was just living without a soul. Her sister intervened and was very good and told me that my wife was really devastated about initially lying about who the text was from and she told her she wanted to tell me the whole truth and that nothing was happening between them. For me, rightly or wrongly I feel if something was happening between then it would not have been a quick drop of from his station to her car on that Friday night so although I still feel uncomfortable I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She told me she was ready to take a lie detector test which I think would have revealed the nature of their relationship but I decided not to go for that as I know that will put a permanent wedge between us. Throughout the week we did not speak but her sister was mediating. I was convinced I was going for the divorce but I started to think of the children and her love for me and possibly that there was nothing going on. On the Saturday she cooked for me and I moved back into our room and we talked. At the end it was the same thing they were just friends and she would never allow such a thing I was suspecting to happen.
Since then our relationship has been very good and my wife is making a big effort to spend more time with the children. You can see she is making a huge effort to make the whole thing work. She also sent me a letter when she taught I was definitely going for a divorce and explained how I was the love of her life and no one can ever replace me and she was not looking for any kind of relationship to replace ours. Her relationship with her boss she says is harmless and they just get on really well as friends and that he had so many girlfriends that she knows about and keep on warning him about his way of life.
My take is that it is highly likely that there relationship may be platonic but there must have been some more to it that just plain friends….why send pics, why the lies, why the insistence on carrying on with the relationship after telling me she was not in contact with him after work etc She says she understands my stance and she has wronged me by lying but insist she will never compromise her vows to me or enter any kind of intimate relationship with anyone else.
Our relationship is getting stronger but I cannot lie that I still struggle with the whole saga. I hope with time I can learn to forget about it. I do love my wife and want to share so much with her but the trust is at a very low and I hope with time she will be able to make me trust her again. She is going about it the right way but I am careful as I do not want to be hurt again. Surprisingly I am not interested in seeking comfort or relationship with someone else, it is from this that I realised how deeply I love her. I am trying to now leave a very good life with my wife and children so help me God