Vanilla

Cut me loose.

Wow It actually hurts to be away from M. It hurts so much. Everything hurts...All I want to do right now is go gym and channel all this horrible energy, because I cant really sleep, I dont want to eat. I just want to work this all out at the gym. And after all this crap that ive given him, I guess i deserve it. Hes amazing and he deswerves better then me. Im cruel, back to my old tricks. I wish I could take everything back, but it feels like this is beyond fixable and I dont want to know what will happen, because if hes gone....im alone. Without him there isnt really any love...but if he leaves I cant blame him. Atleast I learnt to love =) Maybe for once I should let him go and be happy. Lets face it we were never meant to be Im too sad, hes too happy, why drag him down with me. Where there isnt any hope.