Timothy

beyond the pale

I'm one of those people who likes to challenge others Hard Set opinions, the people who rail against this or that, and yet display a certain amount of hypocrisy either in abject silence on one issue or another that they should be railing against the gods, slicing off heads, and posting them on pikes outside the gates of their walls. and yet don't. it annoys me. then there's the bubble people, who've never seen anything, but throw out opinions as if they have some first hand knowledge of such things, and talk a good game, and think they win the argument by not paying any attention to the substance, instead latch onto some other part of the whole, and miss the point. It's a lot like trying to convince a Catholic that God is Dead, and we (as humans) killed him off a long time ago,(yes I'm ripping Nietzsche, shut up), thusly denying ourselves a spot in heaven. Occasionally though, I'm just a shit disturber, and it's amusing to watch people fly into a rage over some meaningless point they've actually missed. It's the whole, "you've missed the forest for the tree's" analogy, and for the most part, these are the same self involved elitists who think they know everything there is to know, when it's pretty obvious, they've not a fucking clue.

then there's the times, I take a swipe, because a swipe is required, and then all hell breaks loose because they can't take a joke. text does not translate well. and I'm a sarcastic guy, with a particularly dark bent, and I like playing the devils advocate. I don't, and never will apologize for it, it's when their arguments begin to falter, and fade away to the wayside, and their highly held opinions are shown to be little else than bluster to make themselves feel better, that they suddenly bring out the knives and wish me ill immediate health, doesn't bother me, never has, and never will.

in the end, no one really pays any attention to me anyways. it's kind of annoying, no one takes me seriously, and everything thinks I'm an idiot. I guess it's a lot like managing ones expectations, they think I'm crazy, and they wouldn't be wrong, but they idly dismiss me out of hand that makes me mental. ah well, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.

but it's this dismissal that pains me, it happens all the time. I'm not invited out, I'm not included, I make effort to be friendly, cordial even, and yet, time and time again I'm rebuked. this makes me mad. it also makes me sad. a little bitter too. I'm not going to change who I am, I've been changing who I am, but its as if, its of no matter, irrelevant to the masses. so I wallow in self pity. I shouldn't. but I do, and now, I'm once again experiencing it, and it makes me angry. there are some people I never pull the devils advocate routine on, they simply haven't the mental acuity, or sense of humor to properly appreciate it. and yet, still, I'm excluded. it makes me miserable, and rather unbearable to be around. that vicious circle, down the spiraling stairs to oblivion.