2011-06-03 17:13:17 (UTC)


Ever since my father died when I was 13, I feel like my life has gone so down hill and just keeps getting worst. Honestly it feels like God hates me and wants the worst for me.
Sometimes I tell my father that I hate him because he left us. It was bad enough we didn't have a mother, but the one person that was always there for us, just disappeared. It may sound like I complain to much, because there are other people in the world who have the same issues if not worst. But how does one go about coping with death. Because after 7 years I still don't know how, and I don't feel that I ever will.

Before my father passed away my grandfather (My fathers dad) died just maybe 2 years earlier. Then I lost my father. After losing him it was my Aunt Jerry, whom we actually grew up around. She died of cancer just as my father had. Then my sister lost her boyfriend in a car accident. Even though I wasn't close to him, it still hurt me because it hurt her.

Sometimes I don't know if Death is a good thing or bad. I feel when it's your time to go it's time, it's fate and there's no changing that. But I don't think a single father with 4 kids at the age of 40 should of been taken away. He was a good man and working really hard for us, and then it's all gone. And it's like all that work he did was for nothing.

“One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”
-Oscar Wilde