angel

angel thoughts
2011-05-28 21:40:04 (UTC)

i can't wind down...

I am very sleepy, but so restless. I have an undercurrent of excitement too. I just want so badly to be a good girl. Now even more. It just seems like daily I feel more urges and longing for my Daddy. Sometimes I feel like I am wasting time dreaming about being allowed into my special wonderland. I just want to be in it already. I know I have to be patient and be good...it is very hard *pouting* And I wish I didn't have to make all these big steps, I wish I was done with the hard part and enjoying some much needed playtime. Its feelings like this that make me sink deep into lil girl thoughts and I love it. I wonder what times are the best for training, when lil girls are feeling playful or when they feel small and helpless or something else entirely. Tho I still feel completely lost but I am starting to feel pulled in directions *giggle* I wonder if I will just feel lost forever, or with firm guidance will that feeling go away. I am curious what lil girls feel when they are with their Daddy's. I wonder what it will feel like physically and mentally. I wonder what Daddys think and feel when they have their lil girl. I imagine that Daddys feel proud and that it has to feel pretty good to have a body molded for them and trained to respond however they wish. Anyway I hope that is good. I don't want to get trained to be my Daddys angel and then He get bored of me or feel he has nothing else to teach me...but that is why I need a very smart Daddy. *sigh* soooo sleepy but restless. I guess Ill find something to play...I want structure so badly but fight it like crazy. Why can't my mind just relax and let me be in the momment. Its frustrating. Perhaps I can find some good lil girl exercises to do...




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