Harold the barrel
Thursday 19th May 2011
Where do I start today?, its gone from one extreme to the fuckin other, after a week of feeling so fuckin low I could have topped myself to feeling alright today and yet D has really worried me tonight. He was like this after spitting at AB, theres times I would love to know whats ticking over in his mind and try and put it straight for him, he's like my brother and I love him to bits but he doesnt half worry me at times.
My blood pressure has seemed to of calmed down today a bit and I have not felt as panicky, I refuse to feel bad for doing something that was right, I dont give a fuck how trivial the "stealing" was, when someone tells you to leave something alone thats theirs, you should do it and I dont care who you are. I am making a solemn pact now that from this day I will NEVER have anything to do with those complete cunts ever again, they have ruined everything, our lives, friendships, "the business" and most of all our heads. I honestly cant see things ever being the same again.
If I could apologise to JC without fear of reprise I would gladly, hes one of those people like NG who tries to be the middleman but ends up getting knocked out of the way, I just hope he realises now that you cant speak about people like that no matter if they are your friend or how pissed you are. Being pissed is NOT an excuse to act like a complete knobhead. He was well out of order by saying "Fuck him".
One thing I really hope is there is someone up there looking down on us, I know that I am not a bad person, I just get dragged into that much shit its unreal. My life is better without those tits that rip the piss.
I met someone on line yesterday that I felt like I have known him for years and today I have thought a lot about him, we got on sooooo well and there was so many uncanny resemblances between us, as soon as this hopefully starts to die down I will be making visits to Doncaster to see him for sure, Im not pissing about like I used to. Its about time I done a few different things. Things to get out the way.
Anyways diary will sign off now because Im rambling, Ive just ate a pot noodle and I fancy a fag before I try to chill out.
Lets just hope tomorrow is a better day for everyone.
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