Confessions of a married woman
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Letter to my husband
On Friday, I asked my husband if he knew what his girlfriend was having, he said, yes, that he was having a boy. I said that's nice. Do you know what you are going to name him? He answered without shame, "Well I'm thinking --my name--". Is he serious? If he was serious about getting back with me does he really think I'd be okay with that? Man he has shit for brains!!! I haven't been okay with him ever since. I can't talk to him because he doesn't like to talk, but I did write him a letter and here it is:
"May 16, 2011
I pulled the last straw on Friday. I don't know what your plans are. I'm clueless. You say you don't want to be with ---Slut's name here--- and you "claimed to love me," still but not once has it come out of your mouth. So I came to the conclusion that you don't and that you don't want to continue your life with me. I'm okay with it, especially after you told me what you are going to name your son. I don't think you think things thoroughly EVER! How dare you think I'm going to be okay interacting with a child that was within our marriage and calling him your name, sorry that is not happening. That completely finished breaking my heart and I can no longer be in any type of relationship with you. I feel disgusted and disrespected by you. You are one of the most inhumane person I have ever met. So many things! I'm going to make a list so that you can try to categorize yourself, because I sure as hell couldn't figure what type of a human being you are:
A. Cheated once
B. Cheated twice
C. I Found out she was pregnant, not yours and not by you.
D. Buying her gifts with MY credit card (i.e. a $300.00 gift card from Babies R Us for possibly her baby shower)
E. Applying with credit with her for a loan and then they are calling MY house mentioning her name.
F. Still sleeping with me
G. Sending me gifts/flowers for every "special " occasion
H. Sending my family flowers for my mom's birthday and for Thanksgiving
I. Not allowing me to wear what I want
J. Ripping my clothes
K. Questioning me who I'm with. What I'm doing even when you don't love me.
L. Getting her pregnant
M. Wanting an abortion from
N. Telling me 5 months later, while being in the house living your "normal" double life
O. Sending me a text accidently telling her you love her, when just a few days you told me you didn't
P. Visiting her for mother's day, I don't know why she doesn't have your child yet, if you don't love her, why go see her?
Q. Telling me you want to name a child, that not only you wanted an abortion for but that you didn't make at the time when you were in love with her, your name. Like I said I don't know if you planned on staying with me or not, but you obviously didn't think about hurting me again. I put up with a lot of shit, but this I will not.
I'm sure there a lot more things, that you can probably mentally fill in and that I don't know about, but hey that's in your conscience.
I also feel disrespected by your mom, but that's okay. I guess I can see where she is coming from her having ask me so many years to have a baby, and you would refuse. I mean, I understand why she is happy but she could of hid it just a tad, I mean she doesn't even know this trick, well maybe she does, who knows what else is going on with your other life. You said your mom loved me but that is definitely not love. That is however not for you to worry about, it's not your fault.
I guess it is time for you to make a decision. There are a million conditions for our staying together, but first and foremost the name of your child. I will not accept that at all. If I were to have children with you in the future, they would question that and it would make me remember everything all over again.
So I leave you with those thoughts. Along with other conditions like giving her gifts for her special occasions like you did to me. That is NOTTT allowed except for mother's day as she is the mother of your child, and she may or may not be a good mother, that is up to you to decide, you may already know that. The only reason I'm flexible for mother's day is because I asked a few of my guy friends with children and it seemed reasonable.
You are not a person that likes to talk about things, because you get butt hurt and start talking shit, instead of straightening things out you like to brush them under the carpet and let them "fix" themselves, they never do! If I allow it you can live this double life forever. I am done with it. I really am. I am a drama queen and of course I'm not like her, like the day you told me "she wouldn't do that" please don't ever compare me to her. I don't care to have anything of her, nor do I want to be like her EVER, I hope God saves me from that. Thank GOD that I have somewhat better morals than her, obviously.
This needs to stop now! Let's proceed accordingly.
So this was the letter from me to him. I didnt' give it to him. I left it around the house with hopes that he finds it, SOON!
I have been very indifferent with him since Friday, and I don't think he gets it, really. I don't want him to touch me, or kiss me I don't even sit next to the couch with him. He knows. I hope he does. We sleep in the same bed because we don't have another one. He is always on my side, putting his arm around me or something. Last night while I was asleep, he was feeling me up... my ass my tits... I woke up and said, what the fuck are you doing? Please don't do that, he backed off. I am so done with him! This week I'm going to go buy boxes to home depot to start packign my stuff and begin doing a yard sale or something. I need to get rid of a lot. So when it comes time to move, I'll be ready. FML!!!!!!!!!