2011-05-13 21:10:01 (UTC)


Dear Diary,
here I am again feeling like i'm not going anywhere. Feeling as though I have not accomplished anything. I caught him cheating and i kicked him out and we talked so he came back. Now he does not have a job, and he sits home all day and does nothing. Does nothing with the house, sleeps and watches tv. WTF!!!!!! The insurance is do on the two cars and was due on him motorcycle, he made sure he got the money for the insurance for the motorcycle but did not pay on the cars. I am the one working. I am the one that is paying all the bills. He has not even gone and look for a job. I am barely making it by and he doesnt' seem to care. I just can't take the shit anymore i really can't. I feel like i'm having nervous breakdown. I break out in hives because of stress. I'm about to lose everything, i have to worry about how i'm getting to work for the next week because i don't have the gas money. my gas got shut off, electric is about to get shut off. there is not food in the house becasue i can't afford it. i have been living off of toast and butter. i am 36 years old, this is not supposed to be like this. ugggggghhhhhhhhh i just feel like screaming. a person can only take so much and i really feel as though i can not take anymore. well if anyone has any suggestions i am all ears. thanks