Anika4Love

Nikas Thoughts
2011-05-11 00:44:49 (UTC)

The Blah moments

Currently I feel very blah. I'm listening to somewhat depressing music, which I know is definitely not helping. I haven't had a bad day or anything, But I feel like .. it could have been better. I have been thinking about my aunt who passed away from colon cancer.. and I miss her SO much right now. I found myself almost in tears looking at a photo of her. Now I just feel like I have this big empty and void gap in my heart. I was 9 years old when my aunt passed away, and I just feel like I missed out on having her in my adult life.
There are supposed to be brighter sides to things in life. Whose idea was that as a consolation? What if there isn't a brighter side to a catastrophe? If you're told to look at the brighter side, does that mean you're in the dark? I would think if that was the case the bright side would only look a bit taunting. Of course we have to take into consideration the pertaining event to the persons distraught, and whether or not it's a huge deal.
I don't know, I just don't like that phrase. It's so catch all and life is so much more in depth than that. Sometimes I suppose there is nothing that can be said when you find yourself in a moment like that.
Maybe that phrase was invented just to cut the silent and vicious cycle of the world that is dark and the counter part to "The Brighter Side". I guess that's not too bad a way of looking at it, I mean .. I know there have been times where I couldn't find a damn thing to say. Nothing was right and all I could do was maybe give a hug. Oh well.. life goes on. My insanity is just going to have to help me move upward and onward =).. thank FUCK I have friends that are amazing!! XoX


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