LifeKills

Depressed Teen
2011-05-08 18:41:35 (UTC)

May 8,2011

Heey,
Atleast I figured one thing out. Thomas does read this diary still. In the 2 years that I have known him, we have only had 2 fights. They werent even that bad. Then there was this one. I cried for hours, it kills me to know that I have made him sad, or mad. Lets just say that he wasnt thrilled about what I said in my last entry yesterday.
You want to know the worst part of not having any friends? Its the fact that you have way to much time to think. About anything. So I've spent almost all weekend just thinking. Second guessing everything even more then I already have.
Something that I have always wanted to see, is how people see me. I want to see, if i look as depressed as I am. I want to see if people think Im beautiful. THat probably seems like a bitchy thing too say. But i want to see myself through others eyes. I always try to be the best person that I can be, I wanna see if I portray that.
The depression has never been this bad before. Just everything is bad. I cant even think straight. it kills me. Again though, I cant tell anyone. Cuz then their just going to take me to the hospital. I cant go there. There is no way that I can tell someone about how Im feeling without then getting mad.
Thomas, If your reading this, please call me. I really need to talk to you

- LifeKills




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