All that is
Ben was energetic, enthus..
Ben was energetic, enthusiastic and lusty which was great, and more than enough for some women; but i felt he lacked the sensuality, the intuition, or just tenderness which is i now know is very important for me, and which i guess are what naturally come to a guy (well anyone, but mostly guys) after they really care about someone. Yeah, news flash. i know i wasn't an object of care for him. i wonder when he'll ever leave my mind, my dreams completely. i dreamt about him 2 days ago. it wasn't a happy dream. he was going on holiday with some friends of his a couple - guy and girl. they were staying at this nice hotel, and i think the dream was along the lines of something like i wanted to come too, but couldn't cos we weren't together or dunno.. I realise these qualities now, because of freddie. i've not yet slept with him (though i'm seeing him on wednesday...) i know he'd be super sensual and very tender, and attentive etc. I didn't even need to sleep with him to know. i just sense it. it's something i don't remember ever sensing when i was starting out with ben. and back then i didn't notice. but only when you're given another subject (or guy in this case) to compare him with, do you then realise what your preferences are, what you like an don't like.