lust

My dirty little secrets
2011-04-25 20:26:24 (UTC)

one big hole

Well a lot has happened I am no longer talking to Chris. Which I feel completely guilty about. I even cut myself. I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m turning in to someone that people won’t like. Lately I feel worthless. Like I don’t matter. I know this all sounds really emo but isn’t that what this is for...confessing things you wouldn’t in real life. Anyways I’m not saying I want to end my life by no means at all. I’m just saying I feel like I deserve to inflict pain upon myself for hurting Chris.

I thinking about talking pain pill I took one last night and it really helps kill the pain. It’s like nothing in the world matter. Just felt numb about everything. That’s how I need to be. Not give a fuck. But I do. I really hate it. I hate myself. I wish I could love myself like I used to.

It was my birthday the other day. Me and my best friend got in a fight and he left me stranded alone in west Hollywood with no car or anything. I guess I deserved this...I guess Karma is a bitch.

I don’t know that’s enough confessions today




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