2011-04-22 23:23:09 (UTC)


Juan Q. is an idiot at 12:31 AM. Note to self.
do not call Juan Q while he's banging a girl.

Messaging Leslie is fun because I find out new things everyday. Because of Fabian, I wonder how many people already know her secret. My secret that I hold between Q and I; well, the only reason I refuse to date Leslie is because of Juan Q.

Q says he doesn't care but for the thousandth time I try to explain him how it will affect LESLIE, it seems to go out his other ear. Q doesn't care; But Leslie, Leslie does. Q does not realize this.

On the other hand, I have my other two friends to worry about. Ahem, ahem, LOUIS and EMILIO. Louis; has grown reattached to me. Ever since the fight, things seem far, far, far, far, and way farther from normal. It seems like all my best friends have suddenly become so distant. It's like this chess game; my opponent will know each and every one of my possible moves. And I know, for a fact that I will lose either way so.

I have to give my opponent a move he won't expect.
I've only told Juan Q. about my love life. I think he is the only one who truly understands. I don't want anyone to chain me because of "OMG I LOVE HIM/ I LOVE HER." I want to live a simple life, with respect, with my family, with my friends. I don't need "True Love" in my life; no one NEEDS it. They just need at least one person; in this case Juan Q., to truly care for them.
I told Q, that love is a powerful thing. Love is a powerful thing.
It just depends on the way you use it. I'd rather not take the risk of emotionally scarring Leslie, only because Q already did that. Juan Q. is hurt deep down that Leslie's just not herself anymore. Q and Leslie both took an impact when they broke up; this left her and him scars. And if I get with Leslie, I'm just afraid that that's gonna be the same thing that will happen. That's why I'm going to leave her as my friend; because I want to avoid the fights, and all the drama, and leave out why I didn't call her last night, I don't want that at all.

I just want her to be happy, and I soon know she'll find someone else. I guarantee it.
Emilio; After 4/20, I have had no definite contact with him. I hope he didn't smoke. And I'm just hoping he's safe and okay. And that Jonathon C., or Ignacio, or anyone else, pushed him back into smoking weed.

I have faith that he will keep his promise.
Oscar; Super cool paisa, or so I expect. This kid thinks I was lying to him. I wasn't. I don't get why Oscar doesn't trust me. It's like 302 has just formed their own shell of disbelief and guard it from everyone. I cracked that shell open for myself. There's nothing bad to hide in that class. SO why do they try so hard to guard nothing? What's so special about keeping all the bonds together and treating everyone like crap, when there's nothing to hide?

In this moment, I would like to say, how the hell did Juan Q. become my best friend, and a better question, how did Leslie manage to make me her best friend too? I told Juan why I couldn't lose, him, louis, and emilio. I told him my strategy to work it out; but day by day, it's jsut invisibly crumbling. We're all graduating soon; soon, we won't be the classmates in 302 or 308, and hanging out with those "classmates" won't be the same. because we're not classmates anymore, we're just people. People who used to go to our elementary school. When we graduate; Our classmates aren't classmates; not anymore. They're just people. All the bonds and memories that were made, they'll lose their shine. And we'll eventually forget most of each other.

But True Friends, Stay True Friends.