Kansas Girl

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2011-04-22 14:50:51 (UTC)

Sticks and Stones

That old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me is bullshit. I think words hurt more than physical stuff, its longer lasting. Tonight Rod and I were texting and he mentioned he didnt have food in the house and needed to go shopping and I made a smart ass comment like ya, us fat girls need food and he didnt like the comment. After a few texts back and forth I asked something a girl should never ask. I asked him if he thought I needed to lose weight....here was his response: "Yes. I do too. I think your beautiful but not healthy." Ok that hurt. He called and wanted to talk about it but I didnt. I cried, I guess I felt like finally someone who likes me for me only to ask that stupid question and get the honest answer. I was doing the kickboxing and signing up for the gym FOR ME because I thought I had found someone that didnt care whether or not I lost the weight because he likes me for me. Maybe that is still the case but right now at this point it sure doesnt feel like it. He feels bad for hurting my feelings and makin me cry, and like I told him its not his fault, I should have known better that to ask a question like that because I know he wouldnt lie to me. So back to being completely insecure and not wanting to go shopping or do much with my girlfriends bc I seem to be the "fat girl" in the group and I hate it.
I seriously need to find a fat friend lol. I need sleep and hopefully wake up tomorrow feeling better.