nin137

Nick's Journal
2011-04-19 17:40:12 (UTC)

New Job and Picking Myself Back Up

My last journal entry was insanely depressing. Juliann read it and let me know. I couldn't help it. That was rock bottom. Writing about the bad times helps me through those bad times.

But as life is, it does not throw you down the gorge without allowing you to climb your way back up to the top. About a month after that journal and that tax assessment I was offered a job.

This past month and a half I have been re-orienting myself from the reclusive, socially inappropriate due to lack of human contact Nick to legitimate member of society with a job Nick.

But I'm not here to carp on my job. Nobody wants to hear about that shit. What I am here to do is to move on and talk about the randomness that I now perceive thanks to my actually going out into the light of day more than once.

First and foremost I am completely surprised that I have not been run over by some maniac trying to cut a right hand turn before the "walk" signal turns green. I swear to God, I have almost gotten swiped 17 times, just minding my own business WALKING ON A FUCKING CROSS-WALK.

What is it with people that they are always in such a hurry? Why must every douchebag decide to spin his wheels just so that he doesn't have to wait those extra 10 seconds for a mother and her child, or a simple Austrian Attorney to cross the street?

Aside from that as you may or may not know I am addicted to Call of Duty: Black Ops. I like the first person shooters because it allows me to be competitive in short increments. But I think I have taken my obsession a bit too far.

A while back I started actually watching youtube videos of other players playing Black Ops. No fucking joke. But then I took it even one step further. One of the guys I watch (Whiteboy7thst) on youtube.com also has his own "personal" channel that is aside from the gaming. In this channel he does things like cook bacon, shop at target or go bowling. And I watch it. I watch every second of it. In fact, I am starting to enjoy those videos MORE than the Black Ops videos.

Now this is coming from someone who could seriously give two shits about someone's personal blog (hypocritical I guess). Yet for some reason this guy draws me in (and I know this is starting to sound borderline gay). But the dude is fucking interesting. And I can't place my finger on it. Just watching him walk around and talking about random shit intrigues me. Which brings me to my last topic.

Not since I started working again and having daily interactions with people do I realize just how fascinating I find them. All their quirks and foibles don't frustrate me, but rather draw me into them like some magnetic force. The trials and tribulations (which you see more than anything as an attorney) truly affect me. I get drawn in and engaged with them whether they believe it or not. I know this sounds like some corny shit that some dipweed would talk about in an interview but it is the honest to God truth.

Which leads me to my conclusion. Even though I am truly an introvert by the very definition of the word, I still need people around me. I believe that was one of the major causes of my worries when I was self-employed, I sat at home working without any human interaction. Now that I have it I just feel...healthier. And it reminds me of the Malcolm Gladwell anecdote about this community that had a rate of heart-disease far below the national average. They tried to figure out what it could be dismissing the obvious fact. It was a tightly knit community where people interacted with each other every part of the day, watched out for each other, and helped each other when one of them was in need.

That sense of community was enough to allow these people to be far healthier than the rest of the alienated folks living in their condos. After my latest experiences I can only agree.




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