Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned
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2011-04-18 04:36:06 (UTC)

More than five.

So, sins of mine beyond five.

I do not give as I am commanded to. I am a poor person, but even the poor are commanded in the Bible to give of what they have to those who are less fortunate. And considering I can eat three meals a day if I want to (and this hasn't always been true), there are people poorer than me. Today I just read the book The Treasure Principle by Alcorn, and I feel called to start tithing. So I'm looking to start sending a check every two weeks to friends of mine who are looking to adopt an orphan. The bible says in James 1:27- "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." I haven't told them I plan to do this. I mean, eventually they'll figure it out.

I am egocentric. I try to make conversations about me. I try to be the focus of others' attention.

I am a Grade A narcissist. There is hardly a mirror I come across that I can't avoid looking in, usually posing or pulling my shirt up in order to get a better look at my stomach muscles. Ugh. Where is the glory that is supposed to go to God? Going to weak, weak flesh. God forgive me.

I think inappropriate thoughts about friends and acquaintances. Soon, an example, but first, background knowledge. I am a mostly straight individual. Some might call me bi, some fluid, some heteroflexible (a word I would really like if it didn't sound really slutty to me). Now, generally speaking I prefer to limit my sexual expression to women. But I have a friend, who we will call Tucker. (All the names in this diary are altered.) Today I had an inappropriate thought about him. We were hugging, and I thought to myself that I would totally go gay for Tucker. Now, this is a thought that I've had before. I've even let Tucker know that I had a crush on him, to which he responded "That's awkward." He's straight. But he gives dang good hugs.

Confession: in my head, I just said "damn good hugs." God, clean not only my mouth, but also my mind. Thank you.

Back on topic, I will take this opportunity to point out that I very often have romantic feelings for friends of mine which end up never going anywhere. Reasons for this in the past have included: not Christian, not female, not interested in dating, not good-looking enough. Yeeeeah, I can be a tool sometimes. Another confession.

Anywho I'm single. Just fyi.


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