simply me

my wee diary
2011-04-16 19:34:06 (UTC)

what am i


hurt, it's part of my life
pain, it always tugs at my shirt tail
doubt, it's the way i second guess my every step
failure, it's a word that feels like part of my name

it's saturday night, i feel alone, in a relationship and alone, i can't get hold of the woman in my life, i worry.

what has life done to me, i used to smile, a smile so big that i could feel it's happiness stretch right across my soul and craddle it.
what has life got for me now, a failed marriage, no kids and no hope of having kids, i have no one to follow me to carry my memories, my stories and my name, what a painful thought to live with, but live with it i have to.

am i sad because of my past or my future
am i sad because i have given this painful life too much thought
am i hurt because i didn't see the hurt coming.
i have eyes but i just don't see whats in front of me and looking back just fills me with pain.

what a night.




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