z2smith

z2Smith
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2011-04-15 13:53:13 (UTC)

Now a different Challenge

It is quite strange that after the whole palaver with my wife I am just realising the amount of emotional baggage I was carrying. I feel exhausted emotionally and physically. I have spent the whole of this week just resting and going to work. I didn't even attempt to wake up early and carry on with my objectives and normal targets, I am just too tired. The more I think about the times I was in despair the more I realise I was close to depression. I just wasn’t happy and I was consumed by the fear of the unknown that could be happening.

Things are slowly getting back to normal with my wife and it is quite clear she is more relaxed and actually putting an effort to make me get back to normality as much as possible. My wife and i share so much, we were very comfortable in our relationship, well, so I thought any way, and I still think so. At times I am tempted to find out more about her boss and really dig into his past and see what he is all about but I just have to let go and look forward to the future. I am enjoying my marriage with my wife again and that is the most important thing. I should be strong enough to move on and look to the future. I believe she is doing the same thing and I can see the genuine effort on her path. We do have something good going on and I will be foolish to lose it because of that irresponsible man. As mush as he has become good friends with my wife (or whatever it is) I can't stand that man but i have no space in my heart for negative energy so I try not to think about him at all. I don't do hate.

The fact that they still work closely and she will work late and go for team drinks....it take a lot to allow that and not pressurise my wife to look for a new job....but the way I see it is simple...I can't police everything.....if she cares about me and our marriage she knows how to behave...I am giving her that mantle of trust....if she abuses it eventually God will make me find out.....and I am out. Having said that I believe in her and just want to get back to normality.
My biggest challenge now is to get my career and business back on track. I hope to start the planning of that this weekend and by Monday start implementing what will make me achieve my kismet.

laters....


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