Mels Wolf

Who Am I?
2011-04-06 16:55:05 (UTC)

Estefani, once was and still is a friend...

Dear Estefani,

You hurt me with your "joke." I remember, I stood there, messing with you, and said "aren't we still friends?" jokingly.

"We haven't been friends for a long time," you said, looking down at your painting, hiding your face with your hair. I didn't even see a smile.

I didn't really know what to do. I didn't feel like crying when you said that. I didn't really feel angry, either. I just felt... empty. Pitch black. I didn't know what to do. I stormed away, yelling "asswipe!" at you.

I thought we weren't going to be friends anymore. That was a scary, depressing thought to me.

So I gave you back the necklace. Sort of. I thought about it last night, thinking of the many different ways of what I was going to do, how I was going to give it back to you. But I couldn't make myself give it to you. Instead, I gave it to Pati, your sister, and told her to give it to you.

Pati was the one who told me it was "all a joke." But whatever. It still hurt me.

I wanted to be quiet that day, isolated, and to ignore everyone around me. I couldn't make myself do that. I felt that was just way too needy. So I played it off naturally during Art, acting like I didn't care, but I didn't so much as utter a word to you.

Meli and I sat in the West Lawn, away from the view of other students, in the grass and flowers. We talked about you, and Meli said it was a joke, too. I guess that kind of softened my heart towards you.

Then you showed up. I saw you running toward us, you hair bouncing around. Meli asked what was up.

"I need to talk to this little girl," you said, and I assumped you were talking to me. I had to hold back a smile. Perhaps you do want to stay my friend, I thought, maybe it was all just a little over-the-top joke.

I don't remember the exact conversation we had, but in the end you convinced me it was all just a joke, that you didn't mean it, and I told you that joke or not, it made me mad because I have few friends in this hell-hole called school. You seemed to understand.

In the end, we sat there with Christian (who came along mysteriously), painted a little, relaxed to some music on Meli's phone, I got my necklace back... It was just one of the best days, I think.

Not only that, but we went off on one of our adventures, too. We put our painting stuff on the brick wall and snuck out of Mrs. Jamele's view. We chased after Christian who stole your shoes. Did you have to walk home barefoot? I wonder. It was funny watching you run around in socks.

Estefani, I hope you come back next year. I don't care how far you move away. You're the one I get into trouble with. When we sneak out of Art class to go visit Mr. Acebo's PE, it's together. When we come back five minutes until school is over, we get yelled at together.

You promised to be my friend, to hang out with me until you graduate. It won't be any fun if you aren't even here for your senior year!

I know, Estefani, that I'm probably not your best friend... But, you're mine.

Mels




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