- s o u l

music's innovations .
2011-04-02 08:19:30 (UTC)

seven .

"Nothing's easy, that takes the price down.
If you need me, send up a lone sound.
We'll be waiting out in the hallway too."


well, it's friday. it's the start of my spring break. whoohoo. and sadly, i couldn't convince my mother to drive to panama city beach where it's cool and i don't have to wear sweaters other than going to washing d.c. where it's -30 degrees and snowing. and plus, from here (georgia), it's only 6 hours away to florida. hmph. oh well, better luck next time.. hopefully.

and jesus, what the fuck is wrong with parents these days? and ironically, it's not my mom this time. it's my dad. my dad takes everything so fucking seriously. he expects nothing to have an excuse. alright, my problem is that i had beta club money due today. I FUCKING FORGOT. for the last two weeks, i had theater practice from FOUR TO SEVEN PM. and as soon as i came home, i went to sleep. i couldn't go to the first beta club meeting because of practice, so i missed getting my information packet and all that jazz. and PLUS, my dad took my sister to go see some college that's four hours away. so it's yesterday, nine thirty, right? my dad comes to my mom house to drop off my sister. i then ask if he has THIRTEEN DOLLARS so i can pay my beta club dues. then he starts yelling at me, "BETA CLUB? WHAT THE HELL IS BETA CLUB? WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME? I PASSED THREE BANKS! I WAS ALREADY COMING HERE! I DON'T HAVE ANY CHANGE ON ME!" how the FUCK am i suppose to know he was coming here?? i didn't even know where my sister was going until my mom told me! and another plus, I JUST GOT HOME. i had to find a ride and i walked in the door like an hour ago, then i started cleaning. i then told my dad "okay." then tried to walk to the couch. he started yelling at me some more saying not to walk away when he was talking. HE WASN'T TALKING. my excuse was that i forgot. I'M SORRY IF I CAN'T REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING. i'm not a fucking computer! i've had practice for three hours straight, i have homework to do, tests to study for, and i have to clean!

i felt like screaming at my dad and saying "LOOK, BITCH. I'M NOT A FUCKING COMPUTER. I CAN'T REMEMBER EVERYTHING. I TRY MY BEST, AND WHAT I DO IS FUCKING GREAT. IF YOU CAN'T GIVE ME THE MONEY, ALL YOU HAD TO SAY WAS NO. I DON'T WANT YOUR GOT DAMN LIFE STORY ON YOUR JOURNEY FROM PASSING BANKS ON THE MOTHERFUCKING HIGHWAY. AND I'M PRETTY SURE YOU FORGET THINGS TO. AND WHO'S THE ONE THAT FORGOT THE DAYS I PERFORMED FOR ORCHESTRA AND YOU BLAMED ME (ME!) FOR NOT 'REMINDING YOU'? GET THE FUCK OUT WITH THAT SHIT. CALM YOUR ASS DOWN AND GET THE FUCK OUT MY FACE."

ah, another venting is out. [: and as you can tell, for this little argument over me forgetting something so stupid, i'm not on speaking terms with my father. like he ever talks to me anyway. heh.

anyway, i had a weird dream that my world history teacher was giving me a purple ring. and i find it ironic that my world history teacher is already married and there's no way i'd have a crush on him. ew. so, i'll go to dreammoods.com for some interpretations.

Teacher: To see your teacher (past or present) in your dream, suggests that you are seeking some advice, guidance, or knowledge. You are heading into a new path in life and are ready to learn by example or from a past experience. Consider your own personal experiences with that particular teacher. What subject was taught? Alternatively, a teacher relates to issues with authority and seeking approval. You may be going through a situation in your waking life where you feel that you are being treated like a student or in which you feel you are being put to a test.

Ring (Purple): To see or receive a ring in your dream, symbolizes emotional wholeness, continuity, commitments and honor. If the ring is on your finger, then it signifies your commitment to a relationship or to a new endeavor. You are loyal to your ideals, responsibilities, or beliefs. / Purple is indicative of devotion, healing abilities, loving, kindness, and compassion. It is also the color of royalty, high rank, justice, wealth and dignity.

~ hm. the teacher interpretation kinda confizzles me. i mean, yeah, i know i'm heading into a "new path" in life, but what am i searching advice of? trying to improve my self esteem? oh, like in my chemistry, there's so many people sitting next to me, but i feel alone. they all talk to each other and leave me there to dry. (or should i say freeze because of this weather?) then that's when my shitty feelings return. yet i don't talk to anyone in first, second or sixth either and i don't feel shitty in there.. maybe because i'm always doing work. heh. but anyway, back to what i was saying. i guess i kinda understand now. i'm being put to the test of my own survival: off of happiness.

alright, something magical is going to happen. i can't really feel it, but just reading the ring interpretation makes it feel sorta possible but the idea isn't alive yet. yeah, the ring was on my finger. for one thing, i know it's not a "boy-and-girl" relationship because i'm singleee. but what's my new endeavor? what commitment have i made? does me joining theater count? i just picked up theater cause i thought it was going to be fun and i wanted something to do after school. i'll just go with that then since i can't think of anything else. xD and i love the color purple (LOL, not the movie/book). i can totally feel something amazing is gonna happen. i just have to play the waiting game... patiently.

so what now? ah, i should finish packing, huh? well, i think i'm finished. i'll add things later. oh shit, i leave tomorrow. 'guess i'll do it now then go to bed because whenever i say i'm gonna go to something before i go to bed, i fall asleep and i have problems doing it in the morning.

and oh! i just thought of something! what if something amazing happens while i'm on spring break in washington d.c.? that'd be cool. [: alright, whoo. i gotta try my best then.

"You can't move mountains by whispering at 'em." _ P!NK

i'll keep that quote in mind. [:

let me go back to packing this shit.. AND OHH, another idea! xD i'm gonna bring my laptop with me! yayy, free internet connection! lol. hopefully, something amazing WILL happen.

My prayer:
Pleasseeee, Jesus! Let this amazing moment come true! All I want is to be happy just like everyone else! That's all I ask! With this amazing moment of mine, I'll be happy! I don't care what it is or when it comes! I'll be happy! I'll finally be happy! :DDD

ha, now i sound like a crazy person talking to myself. and i probably am talking to myself since no one really reads this thing but me. BLAH, i'm so dramatic... and i'm not even an actor [i'm an extra in every other scene, teehee].

SO, that's all my last minute ideas. i really have to finish packing before i forget something.. heh.. just think about how happy i'll be when something amazing happens. i'll be gone for like, what, seven days? that;ll give jesus enough time to come up with something, lol.

[ Seven BY: Chew Lips ]




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