nesli_909

Lonely Nights
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2011-03-26 15:22:33 (UTC)

I pick the ripest apple, I still get the seed.

Everyday.. it's the same old story.
Woke up today, wishing I never woke up.
Going to sleep, wishing the same thing again.
Life is not going anywhere for me.

How can I possibly endure anymore of this pain?

I'm going to pour out my feeling and I would love some help..
ready?

I want to be in love. I think that's what would save me.
Now don't get me wrong, I am an independent woman, I won't
let any man step over me, and I sure am not desperate,
but I just want Love.

Love cures all, sometimes it destroys too. But I have nothing to lose.

I think I am in love with someone, but.. here's the catch.
It's with someone I don't know. Weird eh?

Well, I think this is all aftershocks of when I had to leave the man I loved back at home. Before I moved.

He told me he loved me too, but we couldn't do anything do to age differences. But, age is just a number, love is for everyone.

I tried to forget him, and sometimes I do... but whatever I do.. no matter how much I distract myself, my mind is always goes back to him.

I'm afraid I'll never find love again. But I never even tried love after him... it's all so weird. I wish I could explain in more detail but it's just more of a feeling. I cursed feeling that cuts me deep inside and leaves a scar. A scar that will always be there to remind me.

The guy I think I'm in love with, or interested in... lives across from me. I don't know his name, apt. number, when he works at his workplace of even if he works there anymore.

Maybe I'm not in love with this stranger, but I think about him all the time... and it's not on purpose.. He slips into my dreams. And the funny thing is before I even saw his face clearly... I saw him in my dreams better than I did in real life. Then when I got chance to see him one night... I remembered him from my dream. He looks at me in a weird way as well... but its like there's a fence between us.. and it won't let us cross.

What can I do? ..... I can't sleep forever, I wish I could.


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