Focus

Over the hills and through the woods❣️
2011-03-24 03:17:46 (UTC)

MY SCHIZOphRenic MOTHER !!!!!!!

Wow ! I came to tears.

I grew up with a mother who suffered

from Schizophrenia. As I walk down this scary & painful

memory lane, I recall when my mother came up to my

school. I was in the 1st grade. She had one shoe on &

it was cold outside she got my attention & told me to come

out in the hall where she was standing. I went out in the

hall & she told me the devil was trying to get her. (tears)

I had to reassure my mother (a grown woman) that she

was going to be ok & go back home. Keep in mind I was in

the first grade. That is only ONE of SO MANY times when

my mother flipped out. She was in & out of the hospital

my whole childhood. Sometimes I thought I had a normal

mother only to wake up to find out she was admitted back

in the hospital. I lost trust in her so many times because

she would get better only to go back in the hospital

because of her constant outrages.

I remember coming home from school & I see all of our

living room furniture was in the front yard. All my friends

saw this. I hated/loved her. I was so d** confused.

I do not deal with my mother.

I tried to help her so many times. I just prayed & asked

God to help her because I couldnt do it anymore.

She drained me emotionally, physically, mentally etc. I love

my mother I really do, but to keep my own sane mind

I had to let her go. I talk to her from time to time & I will

take her to the store, but thats it ! I can't do anything

for her because she doesn't feel like anything is wrong with

her. Like, is she serious? I mean she has been

dealing with this illness for as long as I can remember.

I mean I just can't & I'm at a point now to where I don't

feel bad anymore because she makes me feel as if she

doesn't care that she has emotionally drained me.


I am still

suffering from the past pain that my mom caused in my life.

I don't want to sound like I am blaming her for my issues

right now today, but geesh ! I went through a hell of a

lot as a kid. Some things I should not have gone through.


Sincerely,

RB




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