Hailey

The Cutting Diary
2011-03-21 05:20:00 (UTC)

Bravery

March 21st, 2011. 12:10 AM

I wish I was braver.

There are approximetly 4,000 student at my school. Assuming half are female, and taking the handy ratio of 1 in 200 teenage girls cut, the math shows that ten girls at my school cut themselves.

Of course, this is all rough guesstimates. I have no idea what the exact number of females at my school is, plus, cutting isn't an all female exclusive thing. I've met a guy that cuts himself before. Still, that's nine, not including myself here, girls that feel exacataly the way I do. Girls that feel alone. Shit, I know who two of them personally.

This is why I wish I was brave. I wish I had the stones to stand on the lunch table, hike up my skirts, and revele every nasty slice on my thighs. I wish I had the guts to scream out, "look at me, look what I'm doing to myself, you aren't alone."

But I don't. I will continue to go to excrutiating lengths to cover and hide my cuts and scars. I will look away when I see a girl walking down the hall with poorly conceled cuts on her forearms. I'm so sorry. I pray yo find someone stronger than me that will heal you.




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