blueberry

Confessions of a married woman
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2011-03-16 14:56:36 (UTC)

Can't stop thinking about him!

It's been a while since I've had a serious crush. And although I know he doesn't have a crush on me, I can't help it. I'm just one of his play girls... as he is suppoes to my play boy. Everytime he sends me a text my heart beats fasts! He turns me on so much.

A: Hey
Me: Hey baby
(this is the first time I call him baby, i was hoping he didn't freak out!)
A: Wake up
A: What's up sweetie
Me: Not much, what's up with you?
A: Not much. When you coming to see me?
Me: When I'm all healed up. I really really really wanna see you.
A: When's that going to be?
A: So come down. I'll be gentel
Me: Soon... and I know you will but I wanna feel 100% and be 100%
A: Oh please. You'll be fine
Me: I know but I'm still on meds at night. And my scars aren't very pretty especially now.
A: So what?
Me: Oh common! I didn't even want you to have the lights on last time.
A: I know. So what are you worried about?
Me: I can't... maybe Sunday morning/afternoon. I have to work tomorrow and you are far.
A: It's not that far. Plus I can meet you
A: :P
me: :)... soon baby
A: Suuuure
Me: I promise....you don't understand... I really really wanna see you and be with you.
A: :P
Me: Muahh, I miss you
A: Miss you too (yea right huh?)
Later on...
A:Hey
Me: Yes?
A: WErent' you suppoest ot hook me up with your chicas?
Me: lol.. I was, not anymore
(I told him I'd hook him up with some of my friends, messing around of course!)
A: Why not?
Me: I'm selfish!
A: lol...mean! And you dont' wanna see me even
Me: lol...so? they are married they wouldnt be able to see you either.
A: Gay
Me: lol... as long as you aren't gay, it's all good
A: lol
Me: :P
A: You wish
Me: I do bigtime!

I know i'm so beyond flirting with him and I can't even tell if he's flirting back with me. His messages are so dry, but I don't care, they are coming from him and that is all that matters. I keep his picture on my desk, and look at it all the time. I feel like a teenager. I can't wait to be in his arms again. I can't wait to have his lips all over mine and vice versa. This thinking about him all the time is driving me insane, INSANE! It needs to stop, he needs to stop texting me for a week or so, so that I won't get hooked. This isn't suppoes to be happening. I find myself scribbling his name on scratch paper... I write both our names on paper... they look great together. We look great together. Well according to me, although, I'm sure other civilians would be like... "he's way too good looking for her" lol...maybe not.. but... it is possible. I can't wait! I can't wait for him to look into myeyes and make me nervous as shit! I can't wait for his manly hands to caress my skin, my hair.. my face..my neck.. my breast... I can't! I need to do this soon. It's been almost 5 months since we've seen each other. Oh A... you drive me crazy, I wonder how many other girls you have like this... this is a sad thought but VERY realistic! At least I'm not in some type of denial... in regards to his personal ladies life. I secretly know some stuff about him, thanks to my friend "the detective" that found out a bunch of "dirt" on him just by giving her a little bit of information.. hahha she rocks! I rock! because he doesn't know. I feel like a stalker. But I will never ever throw any of the info at his face. I can't believe that we grew up so close to each other about 6 miles... We share the same area code! I wish I made you feel the way I feel for you. :) It's okay I don't need the complication in my life right now, but I do wanna kiss you, hug you, make love with you. That's all. I will be so ever satisfied with just that. I don't need to be in a relationship with you. Just a no strings attached relationship.. the problem is that I'm getting feelings for you! FUCK!


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