My escape
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2011-03-11 20:06:51 (UTC)

What If?

my name is rene. im 16 years old and scared. i dont believe im ever going to be able to be on my own. to support myself. i fear the day my wonderful boyfriend, austin, realizes there is someone out there who will be much better for him than me. we have been together since december 16th, 2009. we are different. opposites attract? what happens when the attraction weakens? we are currently sophomores in high school, trying to plan our life after we graduate. yeah, we are planning what we want to accomplish if we have each other. we talk about marriage and kids, college, homes, apartments, cities. he says because we have made it so far already, dealt with major issues in our relationship, that the next 3 years will be a piece of cake. i cant help but want to know if, even though we are planning for us being together, if he is also planning a life without me. and if he is.... if its better than what we could have if hes with me. i want to believe that hes in love with me, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. what if he doesnt? what if hes lying? dont get my wrong, i am happy with where we are at. i love him. i just overthink. what if i didnt? would i not have so much stress, or would i be living a life where i dont see the problem or the solution? i need to vent, and this is what my blog is about. whether people read this or not, i will feel better. much better. that im getting things off my shoulders.

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