ashwriter101

Journal of a Jedi Padawan
2011-03-08 05:40:25 (UTC)

DreamMare

I had a weird dream. Like, major weird. I walked into the Council room. The Jedi Council room, alone, with my Sith cloak billowing behind me. I got there and they were talking about nothing in particular. I stood in front of them and suddenly all eyes were on me. I took my lightsaber off my belt and held it in my hand. A few stood up and activated their blades. I looked at each of them in the eyes, one by one. Then, I knelled down just as they were going to attack. I got on my knees and put my lightsaber unactivated in front of them. I didn't dare meet their unsure and yet disapproving eyes.
"I'm not here to request permission to come back to the Jedi Order. I don't deserve it. I've betrayed all of your trust. You an actually just kill me now. The reason I'm here, is to ask forgiveness for what I've done."
They spared me and let me back in, but it was short, and I don't know why I had that dream. But anyway, my master is constantly telling me his point of view. Reasoning. I don't argue. I listen and say I understand. I do, but I don't believe all he's told me. He has some good arguments though. He even said out of the other apprentices he's had, I'm the best. He said they all failed him. I told him I wont and that I'll be the one to reach his expectations. He said I was off to a great start. I couldn't help but to smile! My first thought was that my plan was working, but now... I'm thinking staying with him for a while longer is a better idea. I'm learning a lot from him, believe it or not. He's right about some things. You have to know all points of views I guess, and I'm willing to learn. Who knows? I might agree with him and come to accept his way of thinking. I know I said I wouldn't, but would it really be so bad? At the least for a while longer. He's answering all my thoughts, confirming them, and knowing. He's not that bad a guy either. Although Kyral (who has gotten used to the red lightsaber so much that I can joke around with him about it) and my 2 Sith friends are hounding me about a lot of things, I can't say I hate being a Sith. You get away with so much more, you're a little more free do to what you want, and its just different and something new. I know my father wouldn't approve though... come to think of it... many wouldn't, actually. But it is pretty exhausting. And I may have to get a new lightsaber soon. Boy will my master be happy about that. Sehrin, by the way, still doesn't trust me. Shame huh? Oh well, he'll learn to trust me eventually. May scare him a few times though, just because its fun. Well, I'm exhausted. May the Force be with you!




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