Melissa

The Life of Melissa
2011-03-04 14:27:48 (UTC)

7/11/2010 The day I met Shawn

I met Shawn at Chucks Bar and Grill on 7/11/10. Instantly I was very attracted to him and interested in what may come from this. I was very ready for a relationship and to get my life back on track. I was still living with my mom after moving back and was ready to move on and get a home for Emma and I. Once again, things progressed very fast with Shawn and within 2.5 months of meeting, we had moved in together. Things were great, we live well together, have fun together, communicate and laugh together. We had his 3 kids every weekend and my baby girl too. About a month after moving in together Shawn was laid off. Once again, it became my responsibility to support the whole family finanacially. It's been rough, but I am making ends meet. A couple of times since we moved in together I would get emails from girls harassing the hell out of me about shawn and telling me that hes cheating on me. What a heart breaker! I was devestated. He convinced me that this wasnt true, and although not completely convinced.... I got past it. A couple of the people emailing me were Shawns ex gf (one of his childrens mothers) and her mother. One day, In December 2010 Stephanie emailed me and said that she was pregnant with his baby and due any time. This took me by complete surprise and I had heard nothing of this! Well, a few days ago (March 2011) we got the DNA Results, and yes.... shawn has a 4th child. He's still not working so this is very stressful on me. I now have to support myself, my baby girl, shawn and his 4 kids. What a mess! I pray everyday that he finds a job, but its just not happening. My mom goes back and forth about weather she thinks I should stay or go. I just feel like I cant win.... EVER!! I love Shawn with all of my heart and wish things werent such a mess. My emotions are all over the place. some days I am positive and seem to be doing ok, other days, its quite the opposite. I cry alot and feel very overwhelmed. I feel like Im at a standstill right now. Only I am standing still and everything around me is still going crazy. I feel like I have just picked up ANOTHER bookbag full of bricks that m carrying around. It's bringing me down, and I dont know what to do. So here I sit and pray that things will get better but worry they will get worse. Sometimes I cant focus at work, and my thoughts are so skattered its hard to concentrate on anything else but what my life has become.




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