rakish2000

TooBloodBad
2011-03-03 20:49:11 (UTC)

The Bar

I have become a person who is out at a bar with his friends and brings a book. Everyone and everything is a bore and I find no wisdom or honor in anyone these days. At this point I would fall out of my chair in shock if I had just one halfway intelligent conversation about any goddamn thing. The humane race is a bleak and torturous dessert and I am stranded in it. Digging and digging night and day for cooler earth, for just one tiny drink of water...I am not sure what part of any of us is humane anymore. I feel like snatching someones blackberry and shattering the bar mirror for just one moment of honesty on the faces of the leathery reptiles that bask in the sun around me. I want to tear down everything around me. I want them to hate me....I need them too. Anything is better then indifference.

At least I have my book. Short stories and poems written decades ago when nothing was really different. You just didnt find out as fast. Reading them is like finding a hole in the desert. It is a sign that someone else was here and they were doing what I am doing. Digging...Fighting...Trying to get cool.

I wish I would have bought a shovel when I had the chance. I wish it wasn't so fucking hot. I wish I wasn't fighting alone. I wish someone could hear me.....I wish that this stupid goddamn bar mirror and all its multicolored shit drink specials and advertisements would crash down onto this goddamn bar. I wish glass would get in everyone's drink.
I wish they would all drink and cut there lips so something honest and real would come from them...... I wish the bartender would get her lazy ass over here and poor me another drink.




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