Ranmat

The Last Hours
2011-03-02 13:24:46 (UTC)

I have to come to a clear understanding... of why my beliefs....

.......are my beliefs........for myself.

So that it is a reason that it naturally flows off of my tongue.

I know i believe what i believe. I know I always come back to what i truly believe... but if I really believe this.... why do i always go on the deep in? And sometimes so quickly? Sometimes, I dont understand why i dont train myself more before I go on the deep in.

Prevention. Preparation. These would "grow" me.
That would help me be the example that I should be......easily.

I have made efforts. But I am lazy. And the time is critical.

That is such a strong word.......

"involving skillful judgment as to truth"
"pertaining to or of the nature of a crisis "
"of decisive importance with respect to the outcome"

Yes, at the end of the day, I am human. Imperfect. Full of sin.
But determined, strong, willful....... (I shrug my shoulders because these qualities, dont seem like its enough.... for what I could/should be doing).

I will have to tackle one subject at a time.

Jonah commented at the meeting for the first time. Feb, 27, 2011.
It was "Sing to Jehovah". He was nervous and shy. It was cute. And everyone patted his back and he was so proud. It ignited for more. Now I have to feed. Will I be able to as I should.

My priorities are what again? DO i just forget about having a life for me? How can you not when you cater to someone else's every need? Its impossible to do alone. And he is so stubborn. So my teachings has to be towards him... "critical". As these are "critical" times.

I would have never aborted my child. i knew he would make me better and stronger. But I would have never decided on my own to have a child alone because in this world as it is right now....... critical and hard to deal with...... oh yea... and there was this defination.....

" having unstable and abnormal vital signs and other unfavorable indicators, as loss of appetite, poor mobility, or unconsciousness."

..... critical times.

Never by myself and only with someone who understands.




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