blueberry

Confessions of a married woman
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2011-02-24 21:22:18 (UTC)

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Woah I feel like it's been forever since I've wrote anything on this
piece. It has been. Lots and lots have happened. My life is just
full of adventures.

I'll start off with my friend from the USAF, R, so I really thought
R was a friend and I confide/ed a lot in him, I made the mistake of
telling him about my "relationship" with A. I really like A but he
is def not secure material, he has kids, and like me he is still
married, but he makes me go wild, I love how he makes me feel. I
just like spending time chatting/talking to him, unfortunately he is
too far to see him often but if he wasn't I'm sure I'd see him a lot
more! Anyway, he always gives me shit about him, I told him about
A's and my rzendvouz and he has given me shit ever since. You know
R and I talk a lot, about everything, his kid, his pyscho
girlfriend, his brother anyway I was writing to him while he was in
the sandbox, wait he is still in the sandbox, but I wrote to him
twice, he wrote back to me, a very nice letter indeed and we intant
message via google, since he doesn't or can't have access to an
regular instant messenger, he sends me a text via his gmail and i
get it on my phone... anyway we text back and fourth. He thinks it
is wrong for me to be sleeping with A because I don't want anything
serious with him and that it is wrong (he obviously doesn't know
about the other dudes *eek*)so i told him that I really like A, but
I would never take him seriously, so he always trys to get me to
tell him why I did it? Why? Because I'm attracted to him, because
our chemistry is so strong we can destroy a place, he drives me
insane, he has sex appeal, is that wrong? Anyway, I lied to R
telling him that I was going to spend my weekend down with A , he
got so upset and I asked him why he was so upset, I honestly have
never got a clue from him that he wants something serious with me.
How am I to tell. Shouldn't he have told me? Was I suppoes to pick
up these hints? I love RIchie as a friend but he is too machista a
little, he is a tad old-fashioned but he really is a responsible,
smart, mature guy. He is def marrige material, but a. he's so not
my type, b. he's short.... am I being shallow? I feel terrible, now
I have to tell him that I lied just to keep him at peace, because
you just never know what will really happen between him and I.

Well my nephew is turing one next month, we are preparing him for
his grand "Happy Birthday" song, my sister is so stupid she sings
Happy Birthday to him all the time and he gets all cheezy, she said
she wants him to come out perfect in his pictures and to attempt to
blow out his candle. She is also 4 months pregnant, wow she is
popping babies like a crack whore pops in crack...hahaha... but of
course we are excited!!!!!!By the way my best friend that was
pregnant at the same time my sister was pregnant last time is also
pregnant.. wtf? I dunno...

So I still keep going out with M and K... however just as I
suspected K is a fake, and since she is basically M's family we
can't really do anything about it. I am a hypocrite for going out
with her, but what am I to do? Not go out because she's shady?
Fuck it, I just won't trust her. Well since M's husband had that
tragic accident, he recovered and of course he is not fully
recovered yet, but M is moving on. She says she can't stand him
that he yells, he trys to kill their kid, yada yada yada... is it
true? I dunno, I guess. I don't know how to feel about her moving
on with other guys to be honest with you, but hey it is her choice
and I aint pushing or supporting anything, but I am not a snitch
either. So a long time ago she went out with some guy that she knew
via family, he was like 10 years younger than her, they went out for
4 years. He had a brother that was M's age. Anyway her and the
brother have been talking via FB for a while, they seen each other
and she told me that she has fallen for him. She really loves
him... how the hell did that happen? Well, it is all her, I just
hope she doesnt regret it. I mean isn't that messed up leaving her
ill husband behind? I mean she hasn't officially left him, but she
will she is very independent and I think she's had enough of being
a "nurse" she even went back to work already. I told her that I
wasn't in favor of her decision but that she is a grown adult and
that she knows best for herself. I honestly don't trust him all
that much either. Because when I joined them at the club last week
(M and K) she took that guy along, and K and him were all up on each
other, I even asked M who that was and she said oh thats _____ I was
like wtf, why are they all up on each other, i thought he was your
man. She gave me a blank look and said, I dunno... however they
were all drunk. Anyway... K and M had a very big arrgument in
regards to the incident, but I told M that it wasn't only K's fault
that he had to do with it too.. he could of walked away ya know..
but whatever. She said she will never trust K again. I have my
doubts.

Me, I haven't found the one I am going to drop everything for. My
husband still baby's me, he still buys me things, but he still has
his other bitch. I need to put a fucking deadline on this
lifestyle! I seriously do! Will I? I dunno.

I've also been having issues with my health and I'm a tad scared
about it too. I've been vomiting everytning I'm eating for the past
months and I went to visit a GI he did an endoscopy and he did an
upper GI Xray... I'm having trouble contacting my lapband Dr. I
really wanna switch him out but I can't until he sees me... and I
determine wheteher or not he is going to be able to do something
about it or not. I tried contacting another doctor and the
receptionist told me that


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