hopelessly bored
trial and error
what the fuck am i doing?
maybe i should just take my pills and swallow this disappointment.
why bother to dream?
how is it possible for a dream to be so destructive? all it does is
gnaw at my insides, taunting me. seeming to be near to me but
actually so far from reach...
all i do is dream.
i don't want to be here anymore!
what happens when you get your dream, and realize it's not what you
want anymore?
will this happen everytime i finally get what i worked for?
i don't believe satisfaction is possible...
and if it is, how does it feel?
maybe being human just means always wanting something different. i
feel like i'm always searching. should i continue to search or
should i settle for what i view as mediocrity?
should i self-medicate and self-harm?
are these things really as destructive as we view them as a society?
should i find a way to get by where i don't feel the need to do
those things?
i'm depressed but my drive is coming back....
now i just need to figure out what the fuck to do about it.
"sleeping makes you suffer."
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