All that is
we can hang this in your ..
we can hang this in your room, you'll see it every morning and start to internalize it. pretty
soon, nothing will keep you down.
oh, poor mr green eyes.. let's not pretend being beautiful's a burden.
my favourite months are the winter months of september, october, november, and
december. after these months pass everything else just seems pointless almost. like you're
sitting around waiting for something to happen. at least the cold and the wind and the rain
and the horrid weather in general, that come during the fall season have a kind of
purpose. a warmth and a comfort, because you know that festivities and and thanks giving
etc fill it up. there's security in knowing that it will come around every yr, no matter what
else happens - you may have a shitty day or a shitty week. but always, always, on the 31st
of october halloween will come, on the 5th of november bonfire night will also come, soon
after thanks giving, and then christmas etc. and everything around you reminds you of
that. it's the purpose of the weather - the promise that something amazing is nearby. but
after the new yr, for the first time in months you suddenly notice the trees have no leaves,
and the ground is bare and patchy, and the constant rain has turned the streets into a
damp mess. not exactly a happy new yr.
then suddenly it's february and the 14th comes around to remind you of what you've gone
yet another year without.
I also feel like i'm waiting for kk to disappoint me in some way or let me down. I go to
these sloane ranger-filled get togethers with her (and i'll admit i do have a thing for
sloaneys) and i'll see the interactions and the way that she relates to these people and it
just kind annoys me a bit - even those who she calls her 'good friends'. the connection
seems shallow and just lacking and i wonder how many of them she'd be able to go to in
time of need. and i don't mean just emotional need. financial etc. u know you have a friend
when you don't feel awkward or embarrassed asking them for help in that way. even tho i
know that its her british culture that has something to do with it as well, i can't help but
question the nature of our friendship or it's foundation. and i don't know how well of a
friend i can call her. it seems that her criteria for the title of 'friend' are a lot shallower than
mine. I don't know how she can call some of these people a friend or hang out with some
of them sometimes. i mean i hang out with them when i'm with her, but they're not
someone i'd ever text or call. for starters non of them are interesting. i've yet to meet
interesting girls here. like kp or haz. i mean the girls i grew up with, they were amazing
girls. or maybe its just me, and i don't know how to interact with girls.. shit dunno really. i
just need to find my niche and k's friends are definitely not my type of people.
ralf can go to hell for all i give a shit, either that or man up. so can stevooo, fucking ging.