Jack's Twisted Kingdom
theories in string
When you're driving 3000km's and some change, you think a lot to
yourself about things, you have conversations with yourself about
theoretical situations as they might occur, such as, if someone says X
you answer with Y, or if someone asks why you think B you answer with
C, perhaps D or E if it comes to that, and if you're stuck looking for
plausible deniability, you opt with answer F (for get me the fuck out
of the room). It's also interesting in how much you realize just how
many important things are to you, that just aren't worth being so. I
forgot just how refreshing and energizing (while exhausting as well)
road trips are. I also find just how terrible alone I feel, and how I
really want to be with someone, who'll make me feel like I'm not so in
the world. And I've come to realize also, that I need to chill the
fuck out, relax, and not worry so much. No one can complete me, I need
to that for myself, it's not an ephiphany, it's just, I know who I am,
I have friends, I have no family left, and while thats not all right,
it is what it is.
So what started out as a fairly easy 4 day trip, has blown up into a
hard 6 day roadtrip, and I've spent since wednesday morning, a little
over $1600, and by monday, it'll snowball to $2000 or so in the next 2
days. The $260 I spent on getting towed out of the ditch didn't help
anything, nor did the expensive hotel stays because I didn't want to
stay in a hostel in regina or stop in winnipeg at all. I've seen the
trip counter flip 3 times since I started wednesday morning at 6am (bc
time), and I'm now on 163km's into the 4th and final 2 day stretch of
this obscenely long haul.
I seem to have remembered this trip being easier, as I've done it
before, twice in fact, and I've done the half way trip half a dozen
times, winnipeg to toronto, or winnipeg to edmonton (that one in
december and it took 13 hours or so as I recall), or winnipeg to
vancouver, but, it only occurred to me halfway through manitoba I'd
always done it in the summer, fall, or spring, and on the 2 other
times I did the transcanada voyage, there'd always been someone else
with me helping with the driving. Never occurred to me just how
valuable that is to have.
I've got 1400km's left to go. the 3rd act as it were.
Onwards and upwards as they say.