My thoughts about life
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2011-02-12 14:12:03 (UTC)

Friend in need?

Sometimes I think. What am I actually?Just someone who can fill an
empty space?Every time, I always the one who you will find to
'fill-in' the space. I realized that I always been in this situation.
I have no problem at the beginning, but is it okay if I end up
paying for it? You said it was free, and you said you need companion,
but when I reached there, ohh I have to pay for the fees. And suddenly
I am in a direct selling.which in turn, I never do any sales yet. That
was few years ago. Back then, I really do not mind. But as the years
went by, I feel I always been 'trapped' by your words. Why not say it
directly? I do it because of you, I want to accompany you,not that I
want to. So, after my long silent,today, you ask me to joint a
paintball session and you are searching for players. So, I say I have
no money. And I don't like paintball. Although I might like. I have to
say it directly this time. Because I don't want to be used anymore. I
like to help, but not by this way. I am not a 'filler'. I have enough.
I must stand on my own foot. Although I know you mean well, I don't
want to get used again. This time, not without my consent.