xoverthinker101x

My Thoughts Create My World
2011-02-10 03:38:57 (UTC)

Is It Just Me?

So, lately, I have been thinking.
Not really deeply about it, but it pops into my head a little.
Which, definetly not a good sign.
Breaking up.

Not really the thought of it..just, ..i don't even know.

It just doesn't seem like he wants to be around me sometimes. He's
always with his friends [which I don't mind. Honest.]
But, sometimes, when I walk with him down the hallway, he won't
really seem happy about it, or maybe he does and I'm just over-re
acting.
I waited for him after my practice, his got out 15 after mine, and
so, I thought it would just be he and I, but his friends came. I
didn't have a problem with that. But, he didn't really...
acknowledge.....well, he did. He really did, because he held my
hand. He was just very unresponsive. When he's alone he does super
sweet things, but when he's with friends, it's like he is a totally
new kind of guy. Like he's embarrassed of me. Sometimes he's okay
with me just being there with his friends. That doesn't matter, but
then other times, he just doesn't act the same.

I like him and everything, but I really do question like...how much
he does really care.
It honestly doesn't seem like he wants to be with me sometimes, and
I don't know what I did to get him like that. Perhaps I'm a bit too
annoying? Perhaps, I "changed" for him to much? Perhaps, I'm just
stupid and blowing this out of porportion?

But, I wanted to walk with him and my practice was starting, but he
was walking where I was going, so I waited, and he just told me to
go on, without him.

Other times he gets kind of mad at his friends for "teasing" me, or
something, so he'll look at the clock, and say that I should get
going to my practice.
"Okay..?"
But, I always come back, and he just doesn't talk, and he says I
really should go..so I give up, and leave. Without another word.
Because I'm pretty upset.
So, this isn't about breaking up. At all. This is honestly just
about how much I question how much he does like me, because it seems
like he'd rather leave me behind then take me with him. Where as I'm
always loving to be around him, and happy...

With him, it seems the complete opposite sometimes..
. . .




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