hopelessly bored

trial and error
2011-02-08 13:15:33 (UTC)

people are full of shit

one of my sister's friends killed himself so once again people are
acting shitty.

beyond the people who pretend their life is greatly different
without this boy in it, there are those ignorant people who
speculate about why he did it.

i hate talking about suicide with people who have never seriously
been suicidal because they don't have a fucking clue what goes on in
mind of a person who is depressed enough to end their life.

however, i will admit that many suicides are spur of the moment. no
planning. probably after an argument.

but who's to say that those feelings weren't building up?

and why should we judge that person's decision to take their own
life? something pushed them to the edge, something hurt them so much
that they did not want to be alive anymore...

people say suicide is selfish, and i can sympathize with that. i
would be sad if someone i loved killed themself.

but i can also sympathize with the person who wants to die. when
living becomes a burden, why stay alive because it's what other
people want you do to?

i was raised to live the way i want to live regardless of what other
people think i should do.

does this mean i should die the way i want to die too? and therefore
commit suicide.

i'm not suicidal today (at least not yet, but my mornings-early
afternoons are usually pretty numb)

someday i might kill myself. or i might somehow overcome to desire
to do so. but no matter what happens, i know that i can't be shitty
to a suicidal person.

i see people like myself and i love them automatically.

maybe all the suicidal people in the world should get together and
form a community of social rejects and people who suffer from
emotional problems...

maybe our dysfunction would prove to be more functional than regular
society is for us.




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