Alexi Katty

The Once Upon A Time of Alexi Katty
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2011-01-30 08:26:16 (UTC)

My introduction....lame title, but I'm an interesting creature.

This is the only way I will ever communicate with you. No matter who
you are, stranger or sister, this is the only way I'll interact with
you.
In all honesty I'm terrified of you.

I don't know you. Even if I ever have known you, you're not the same
as you used to be.
No matter how innocent you could ever be, you've done me wrong. Just
by reading this, you're doing wrong by me.
I can never trust you.

I'm terrified of the thoughts you have of me, my negativity and even
the way I write.
Still, I tell myself I don't care what you think.
I write this because I was born to be in the spotlight, because I
need fame and because I want an audience. I tell the truth because
it's far more interesting than anything I could create.

I hope you're reading this.
I hope you leave feedback. And if you do, I will trust you even
less, because you've made me nervous. You've made me anxious. You've
made my heart race. You've made me sweat. You've made me want to run
away...from my own computer in my own home.

You see, I live alone. Alone with my dog, cat and 2 other people. I
live alone with all the curtains closed.
I only leave the house to collect food. But I never go out alone.
All because you are out there....somewhere you're out there. And
that worries me.

I wonder who you are. I wonder all the time. Are you going to
finally come to kill me today? Or are you stuck inside your own
house, anxious and socially retarded? Maybe you're just that person
who doesn't notice me because you're so damn busy with you're own
life. And I demand to know: WHY don't you notice me?! Do I fit in so
well that I don't make you pay attention?!

Or are you that person who stands there, probably miles away in your
head, staring at me. WHY are you staring at me? Is my shirt tucked
into my pants, are my shorts so high you can see dimples on my legs,
has my three day old make up finally smudged? Or can you smell my
fear?

This is all too much.... I'll talk to you soon...


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