Aleria

Ramblings of a Married Woman
2011-01-24 16:28:28 (UTC)

Journal Entry 1

I'm upset with my husband, he doesn't seem to care about things I
find to be a serious offense.

I am Roman Catholic and I am very religious, but my husband is not.
He's a member of the Church of Christ (a very Anti-Catholic group of
people) and they don't have problems with birth control,
masturbation, sexual indulgence and the likes. Or at least, my
husband doesn't have a problem with those.

We don't use birth control because I refuse (1. I'm allergic to latex
and 2. female birth control are abortificiants), but he seems to have
a major problem controlling himself. Every sexual act should end with
intercourse (according to my faith), but how they start doesn't
really matter so much. So foreplay all you want, as long as sexual
intercourse is where it ends. It's not that difficult, but my husband
can't seem to get that.

I feel used by it too. Like for example this morning, I'm trying to
sleep and he's using my body as a grinding pole. If I started to
stir, he'd stop and pretend he wasn't doing anything, but as soon as
he thought I was sleeping again, he'd start thrusting against me.

This is something he's done in the past. He would do things to me
while I was sleeping and I HATE it. He promised me he wouldn't do it
anymore, but this morning was a wake up call to show that he hadn't
stopped.

This isn't loving in any way. This is him being selfish and getting
off and (for some reason) taking pleasure in me being alseep while
he's doing this.

It makes me wonder just how many times I've been asleep (yes, I'm a
heavy sleeper) and he's done this...

The question is though, why doesn't he want me awake?




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