2011-01-23 18:04:43 (UTC)

Lost Your Light

My life, my old life is beginning to crumble. I can't let go of it
yet. Louis is everything to me...but I don't want to center everything
on him. Or maybe I do.

So fucking difficult.

After everything I went to...302 is almost my friend.
And now everything still doesn't feel satisfying. I'm going back to
liking WC again...and on top of that I just need a huge hug. From L.
Dammit. There I go again. This SUCKS.
If I had to do anything to stop this...
let's meditate.

A life at Linne, #1.
I meet Cesar G.
#2. I meet 302.
#3. I meet 308.
#4. I fall in love with 302.
#5. I meet Arturo and Alex.
#6. I'm smashed by both.
#7. Louis leans on me.
#8. I fall in love with Louis as a brother.
#9. Destiny is jealous
#10. 302 begins to care

#11. ?
Would he really give me a bear hug? Should he?
I heard it say it himself...I make him do too much.

Fuck this shit, man. Fuck this.
It's back to being silent. I'm starting to be more social.
I loved my loneliness and independence... even my mom actually cares about me.

Life isn't easy.
I hate this. I wish I didn't have to go through this crap. On top of
that, I feel so empty inside. I feel like someone else.

Bianca was so fucking right that I hate myself.

I just...I'm not sure what to do anymore...!