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2011-01-17 06:29:18 (UTC)


I am calling this diary my montage. I will share my up's and my downs.
My hopes, fears. Thoughts, dreams, ambitions, fears, and immabeism's.

What is an Immabeism? It is like a positive affirmation, or a saying
like the one I just described. I got the word from the blackeyed pease
song. "Immabe" I love to play that song when pumping myself up.

This montage will be a reflection of my music, my life. Maybe it will
just be me talking to the universe. Maybe no one else will ever read
any of this. It is possible that my ramblings will not make a bit of
sense to anyone but myself.

I will know though. As self centered as a diary is. There is a slight
chance that My Montage will be a way to serve. I know that if you give
out good things, or bad they will come back to you. So, another point
of my diary (montage) is to give something.

Whats funny is that most of us hate listing to ppl go on and on about
themselves. However, we love stories that remind us of ourselves. So,
It is my hope to grow, knowing that possibly someone else is growing
to. I hope my "choice" of words do not offend anyone. However this is
my montage and I like colorful words. If I am offensive please read
something else. LOL.

My goals this year are difficult ones. It shall be interesting (the
journey) and the ways in which they will come to fruition. I have set
challenging ones. 1) Increase my income (by double) it is now. 2) By
this time next year regain physical strength and flexibility. 3) I
will quit smoking. I promised myself that I would not smoke after
2010, so this is a must. 4) To know that I am loved by my family and
not doubt it so much. I wish the universe to tell me what this lesson
will be. May it be something good :)

If any of my family or friends read any or parts of my montage I will
change the names to protect them, and hey, i will be honest but not
share things that I wouldn't want shared about me. This is my montage
though, and it is a place for me to be real. So, please do not take
offense if you disagree with my feelings or thoughts on a topic.

In work, home, family. I have to be sensitive and listen to all of
you. I rarely (contrary) to what you all may think. Really tell all I
am thinking. I listen more. This is my chance to get my thoughts out
there and examine them.

Mostly I will share only good shtuff. (i hope) Although when I go
through the nicotene with drawls I am not sure it will be so easy.

I end this entry with my prayer. Something I do every night for an
hour. I wont type it all out. My prayer and hearts desire is this.
Lord of heaven and earth. Thank you for all you have given me. Please
let me be a blessing to those you bring (have brought) into my life.
In my car, at work, in the grocery store, in my home. May they get a
smile at the minimum, and at the max find that I am unforgetable not
because I existed, But because I was good to them for a moment, a day,
an hour. Give me moments in time that are meaningful. I also ask that
whatever is good, true, and just surround me and my life. I pray that
even if darkness is at my back door, that I am too busy walking toward
the light to notice it. I pray if something wishes to harm me, and
keep me from my goals. Goals that I know you would want for me. That I
do not allow it to change my mind, or influence me or rob me of your

God above, i recognize that there will be trials on this path. I know
i will stub my toe, it will hurt. I know there will be people that are
the stones I will trip over. I know that I will be sick sometimes.
Others will be sick around me. May you keep beaming your light so that
"it will feel better when it quits hurting." This I know. There are so
many, many good things I wish to see them.


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