hopelessly bored

trial and error
2011-01-16 21:48:58 (UTC)

suicide and proof of people's bullshit

when i was a senior in high school, a student at my school killed
himself.

i didn't know the kid. he was a freshman and it was during the first
part of the year.

i don't know why he did it.

well, yes i do. he did it because death seemed better than the pain
he was feeling and he saw no hope of ever recovering from that pain.
i understand.

but i don't know the specific circumstances that pushed him over the
edge. something to do with the fact that his mom was a huge bitch. i
don't know. there was an article in the school newspaper about it
but i don't remember.

of couse i felt sorry for the kid. he was probably only 14 and his
life was cut short. but i did not blame him.

what pissed me off about this incident was people's bullshit
reactions.

a lot of people cried. there were banners hung around the school for
a few weeks that said "RIP" and had his picture on it. people kept
saying shit like "if i would have known what he was going through, i
would have tried to help" BLAH BLAH.

BIGGEST. BULLSHIT. EVER.

let me make it clear that this kid was not well known. not only was
it his first year at the school, but from what i can gather, he was
an extremely introverted person, probably because he was hurting
inside and didn't see the need to be hurt by anyone else's shit.

no one cared about him while he was alive. seriously. not even his
family. his mom said after his death that he made his decision and
she was over it. WTF? what a bitch. but anyway.

my point is that no one would have helped because people are stupid.
he needed someone to love him and that would have given him meaning.
he needed someone to listen without judging, and that is where the
world can never help someone like him.

how can you not know when someone is hurting? the signs are always
clear, but we tend to just write these people off as assholes and
continue with our lives.

if someone is angry, there must be a reason. if someone seems sad,
they probably are. if someone is depressed, don't just assume they
have no reason to be and that they're being a baby.

people are fucking stupid.

to this day, there is a girl who is my friend on facebook who posts
a rip status on the anniversary of his death.

yeah, that's fucking cool.

you care so much now, but where were you when he needed you?

he made a bigger impact on our lives in death than he did in life.
people fucking suck.




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