- s o u l

music's innovations .
2011-01-14 09:39:48 (UTC)

pray for plagues . .

"so clap your hands to the sound of every first born dying now. watch
the rivers flow with blood, death will stand where life once stood."


sigh.. no school. more snow = no school. and it's been this way for
the whole week.. i'm not complaining or anything.. but you know, for
the first time in my life, i actually WANT to go to school. i have no
life at home.. i rather spend my "time" at school than be at home
feeling like a fucking loner..

and you know what...? i don't know, you tell me. xD

i've been really blahhhh lately.. and i don't even know what that
means. well, i guess it can be that i'm kinda
depressed/stressed/lonely/confused? yeah, that sums it up pretty well.
and you know what i noticed? i talk more on the internet than i do in
real life.. maybe because it's easier to talk to people? and besides,
the internet is where stuff goes down, ya know? whoever invented the
internet, well done. i'll praise you like i should.

anyway, what else has been up with me lately...? nothing, i guess. i
pretty much have a boring life. nothing excited comes to me unless a
miracle comes my way. and oh! boys.. that's what is currently
bothering me. remember ex M? yeaahh, i need to STOP talking to him all
together! he never attempts to talk to me! i always talk to him! "i'll
make you fall in love with me again" MY FUCKIN' ASS! even though he is
quite flirty and attractive, he talks to too many girls.. so he has to
be dropped, sadly.. and i don't think the word "drop" relates here..
we were never together to begin with. but we were, waayyyy earlier
before the beginning of time..

and you know that new "like this status and i'll tell you what i
think" thing on facebook? yeaahhh, ex M posted on my wall saying i
have soft lips. i laughed hysterically for a good minute. then i
untagged myself from the post because my page is being watched by
vultures (parents). i even told him that i did because of my vultures.
and he really didn't seem convinced.. and then later, he deleted the
post. well, as i said before, all's well ends well, right? i suppose.
and you know.. he calls lots of girls cute. i guess my "soft lips"
didn't wanna mess up his flow, huh? eh. perhaps..

i wish i could go to sleep.. i have insomnia. yeah, i self-diagnosed
myself online. ha. that probably wasn't a good idea.. but i went to
like twenty different sites and i fit all the symptoms! eh. i'm just
gonna wait a little longer and see where my self-diagnosed insomnia
gets me.. so far, it's gotten me to staying up two nights in a row, i
see things that aren't there (hallucinations?), and perhaps
depression..

ughhhhh.. maybe all these "bad" things happening for a reason is
actually for a reason...? does that make any sense? like maybe all the
bad things are happening first so i can have a happy ending. isn't
that how all the disney movie ends? it is in cinderella... only
problem is that i'm not fictional, i don't think i'm pretty, i'd be
crazy if were talking to animals, god knows i can't sing, and there's definitely no prince to come save me. never will there ever be...

eh. i'm not very religious, but maybe i should start praying as well.
i'll pray for plagues. plagues represent all this shit i'm going
through.. one day, it'll be over.. until that day, i need to count my
blessings.


[ Pray for Plagues BY: Bring Me the Horizon ]




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