Tired and Confused
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2011-01-14 02:47:44 (UTC)

about me.

I have been fat since I was 12 years old. I wonder why. Because
looking st my childhood photos, I was small-sized, thin frame. I was
even underweight!!! Dad told me that maybe due to peer pressure I
ate out of stress or boredom. And I bloated. I was officially fat
when I was 13 and it ballooned till now. I am 27 years old this year.
Thats like 14 years living in fatness. blocks of fatness.

Ok so my ex-boyfriend left me for someone a lot younger than me,
slim, beautiful, non-clumsy or stutter. Well in other words, a lot
lot better than me.

I have been in and out of depression but I am thankful that I still
believe in God. If I were to be an atheist, I slit my wrist and jump
out of the building! Ouch, what a way to die. I think that's silly
cuz everyones gonna start shaking their heads and say poor girl.

I have a lot of problems in regards to my body. My hair is thinning,
I have eczema, my feet and hands are super dry, they need lots of
moisturisers, I am super fat I look like I'm pregnant (its abdominal
fat), I stutter a lot.

My sis told me that I don't love my body. I ruined it. I am so out
of shape. My parents are wondering of my fate, when will i ever get
married etc.

with so many problems, I think I should go slow.

I am happy that I have put braces on. My teeth will be a lot more
beautiful. I will see a doc tomorrow in regards to my backache. And
my colleage has been helpful to inform me about water theraphy
goodness. I have started yesterday. I will continue today. :)

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