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2011-01-08 15:54:59 (UTC)

upside down

i got physical with jai on 19th dec'01
and mom gotta noe everythng
we made out.. by running from bluebells fate to amar colony.. bhind a
and some1 might have seen us and told everythng
jai claims to be serious for me a lot.. and even i am.. i do love him
without him i feel so incomplete
but :( i cant break my mumma's trust who asked me not to talk to
anyone (any 11thie guy) and i needto be reserved now
i'm glad shes so supportive any1 else would hav killed me but she just
told me and explained me about all this
gave me examples and all
sarita didi had warned me not to indulge in any stuff of this sort but
i :/
i cant even say utkarsha about all this :(
damm.. utkarsha is dating vaebhav(jai's bestie)
and m so confused what shud i do.. breakup or keep on dating
if i continue with him then i'll be breaking evrybody's trust plus i
was in so much stress coz of all this and if i break up.. its not easy
for me to forget him
we have dating from 5th dec,10 nyt 2am
we have had so many problems my image in school is ruined badly.. all
the teachers talk rubbish about me and so do d children .. i cant make
them shut up all i can do is ignore and prove them wrong by changing
myself to a better person!
i hope i dont break anybodys heart/trust even mine by any mean
my image is ruined coz of vishal though.. he wanted me to break up
with jai as according to him he wants to physical with me den ruin me
and i din trust him so he got furious but he started falling for me
and he called gujjars and gundes to beat jai up.. and jai just got
free from aditya bidhuri another gunda who liked me and i had talked
to him for few weeks before knowing his identity foolish me !.. i had
lost my brain.. and gradually i started disrespecting evryone even my
parents who shud be worshipped to such extent which landed me
indirectly in so much trouble
now 2011 i hope i be a better me
i just have 2-3 months in hand to start hating jai so that i dont feel
any kinda mental trauma when i leave the school.
lets see what's in store fomme in future