I know how I usually dream. If during the day, I briefly think of
something or see something and immediately forget about it, I tend to
dream about it that night. Well, I was looking for a new pic to for my
profile with this group I'm in. I passed by some of my Ex's pics.
Well, that was a mistake. I fucked up. That night, I dreamed about the
ex. What was weird was that I was sensing in my dream state that it
was a dream. So, in my dream, I was trying to confirm if I was awake
or in a dream state. Either way, it was stupid and I of course was
asleep the whole time. I was dreaming that I was confirming I was
awake. Dumb ass!
It was about the ex coming back with me. Don't know how it felt but I
don't need that kind of shit awake or while I'm asleep. Woke up
confused and hurt. When your asleep, your mind is not smart enough to
be able to put up it's defenses that keeps you sane. Instead, you
think and feel like a little kid that doesn't know any better.
Note to myself. Get rid of all Ex's pics. I thought I did but forgot
about the digital pics.
I'm still hyped about this year. I can just feel there will be a lot
of stuff coming my way. Wohooo!!!! :)
Almost forgot. I did decide on what to do with the kids. From
everyone's feedback and of course thru my own lonnnggg and drawn out
thinking, I will ask the ex if I can have them every other weekend on
a trial basis. If I still can't handle this, then I will back away.
Hopefully the State's hiring freeze gets lifted. New Governor so
hopefully things will change. If so, I get a promotion!!!! chi ching
2011 is going to be so full of good things to happen!!! I can't wait
for it to unravel.
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