Someone within

Searching for myself
2011-01-03 01:01:03 (UTC)

I guess some people are meant to be alone!

I dont know what it is with me. I think i just fall for any guy that
is nice to me, it doesnt even have to be a big gesture. I hate
myself for it.

There was this guy who i used to know a while ago. We were freinds
and it was good, then i started to feel something for him. He said
straight to my face that he didnt like me like that, i denied
everything claiming that it was a rumour or something, he didnt say
anything more about it and we remained friends for a while, before
drifting apart - he finnished school an we didnt see each other much
afterwards.

The truth was when he told me that he didnt like me like that i
wasnt even hurt because i had told myself time and time again that
he would never like me like that. I expected it, so how can you be
surprised or hurt when you expect something to happen and it doees?

I see people just as big as me with boyfreinds and i wonder is it
just because of my size that i dont have a boyfreind, or is it
because of me, my attitude or personality or something. I sometimes
think that i am never going to have a boyfreind.

I used to think that i was happy without one, but then i see my
friends with their's and i reaslise how lonely i am. I want someone
to talk to, to hug me when im upset, to want to be with me. Am i
asking too much?

I guess some people are meant to be alone.

xxSomeone Withinxx

A.I.P




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