Me Complicated
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2010-12-31 05:22:47 (UTC)

2011 and what now?

as the day went by i am accepting the fact my love chapter with pete
is over. I really must let go. everyone says its the new year coming
but really does the stroke of midnight on new years really change
anything? No it doesnt. I still will be waking up in the same bed,
same house, goin to the same job and having the same problems. i
stopped making news years resolutions. their not really good for the only thing i need to focus on everyday, not just on
new years eve, is "what makes me happy?" because i'm not happy right
now. i am misereable and i need to do something. i will never be with
pete again so that is out of the question. i'm not completely happy in
my present relationship and honestly i dont think i ever will be. i
need to figure something out quick because i am suffocating in this
relationship. i need an emotional connection, affection and i need to
feel the love. i need to see it. i dont. it's like we are just going
thru the motions. i dont even miss my boyfriend when he's not around.
what i had with pete was awesome and i want that again. i have alot to
think about. why is life so hard? well i will make the best of new
years eve and hope not to be irked by my man as usual. i'm going to
get drunk, eat and try to have a good time. let's see if 2011 can be
better than 2010.

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