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2010-12-20 08:49:49 (UTC)


i was reading a book the other night, and at the end the author wrote
a poem which i love..

i was lost and alone, didn't know who to be,
and felt like an outcast, unaccepted for me,
when i needed a friend; a voice to console,
i heard a small whisper: "you're not on your own,
i've seen you around and you're needing a friend,
and i promise to be right there until the very end"
i jumped at the offer of close company,
but little did i realise how close it'd be... [1]

okay so at the moment my friend martin is kinda telling me to get
professional help, cause he thinks im depressed and boardering on
anorexia, personally thinking about it i disagree, every now and then
yes i get a little down but thats normal, something i wrote in my

depression? maybe, everything would obviously take an affect on me
but then again, everyone gets down every now and then, why should i
stand out and seem weaker than everyone else? be seen as an
attention seeker, the girl who always has a problem, the girl who
tells of her problems, why should she deserve help just because she
can talk to a friend? why can't she just shut up and deal with it
alone for once???
anorexic? no, im not anorexic, im not unbelievable thin, im just
average sized, but i'll admit i don't enjoy food, sometimes the
thought of it disgusts me, and every now and then everyone skips a
meal or two, because they are busy and don't find the time, its
natural and there is nothing wrong with me, but thank you for your
concern, i understand that people worry about things they don't need
to, but i am fine.

okay, a random retarded story of my family. on saturday, when the
snow started, my mum had free tickets to go to a zoo ((my mum gets
ideas in her head and doesn't really think about them)) and in normal
wheather it takes about an hour to get there, it took us 2 hours and
we got right outside the gates when it really started snowing, so
parents got out had a cigarette and decided that if we stayed then we
might get stuck there for the night, we started driving home, we
almost got stuck 3 times, lost control of the car on a hill and it
took us 6 hours to get home, this is the extent of normal in my
family. next adventure is christmas, yay. not.

beginning of january is gonna be hard to deal with..

[1]- weighing it up- ali valenzuela.

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